The Olympics Troubles: Simon Jenkins

The Olympics Dept: But in the face of such negativism, can we not take a lemon and make lemonade? Instead of escape, let s have an escapade, and imagine how we might turn the Olympics troubles into new, revenue-generating events:, according to Globe and Mail. Outrun the Traffic Cop: Almost 60 kilometres of London s roads, which are already as clogged as a bacon-lover s arteries, will be turned into VIP lanes for the exclusive use of official sponsors and the 80,000-member Olympic family. So many members! Perhaps Octomom was responsible for contraception in this particular family. Ambulance drivers who take non-critically sick people to the hospital kidney and cancer patients, say are not happy that they will be barred from the lanes. But it s all right: The people from Coke and McDonald s won t miss their events and but now, less than three months before the beginning of the Summer Olympics, the wheels seem to be coming off. There are heated battles over missile deployment and VIP lanes and taxpayers burdens. As columnist Simon Jenkins put it, The Olympics have become an Orwellian parody of what happens when a world agency blackmails a government aching for prestige into spending without limit. He suggested that a tourist would have a happier time this summer in Baghdad or Kabul. Dodge the Missiles: The residents of two buildings in East London became anxious when they discovered that the British government was planning to install surface-to-air missiles on their roofs, in the unlikely event that a low-flying terrorist aircraft needed to be shot down during the Olympics. In which case, the game could be expanded to dodge the flaming debris, with the bonus that no medals will likely be required. The missiles are named Rapier and Starstreaker, which sound like overpriced running shoes your kids are always begging for, so how bad can they be? Brian Whelan, the young whistleblower who first drew attention to the government s plans, is being evicted from his flat underneath the planned missile sites, and will probably be sent into exile reserved for people who object to Governmentally Mandated Good Times. The Hebrides, maybe. Or Slough. (www.immigrantscanada.com). As reported in the news.